I know a wide range of families with multiple children. Their first and second born are spaced apart differently. Our girls are two years apart, less two days; March 3rd (the eldest) and March 1st (the youngest). We did not quite plan it this way, the first was late and the second was early (planned C-section). If they had both been on time, they would have been two years plus a few weeks apart, so not really different.
The “planning” of additional children to your family is like roulette. No one knows if and when you will get pregnant, all you can do is try.
I don’t recall the exact conversation in which we said “we want our children to be two years apart”. We are one of the lucky couples who didn’t have a long journey to being pregnant. Our first daughter was not quite 18 months when we found out we were going to have a second. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Again, we were the lucky parents of an “easy” baby for the first one. She was equally as easy as a toddler. Toilet training before two, into her big girl bed, no bottles or soothers. Genuinely all set to be a big sister, a job she embraced fully without jealousy or feeling displaced in our family.
When our second daughter arrived, I remember saying to a friend “there is nothing good about having 2 kids”.
In the first six weeks, you know the sleep deprived, routine sorting out, too many visitors and I am losing it weeks… I was a basket case. C-section recovering, breast-feeding and helping the 2-year-old continue with toilet training was INSANE. I just could not wrap my mind around why we did this! I would be nursing the infant and the 2 year old would need to pee. She was (and is) a tiny mighty girl, but could not (even with a stool) reach the toilet alone! It was so hard to balance.
We came out the other side – happily, successfully and with no regrets.
After the initial six weeks passed, life got easier. Routines settle in and I would not change a thing. I read a post by Bre McKay about having two kids close in age. Her reasons for the close ages are exactly why I would repeat the same process. Our girls are the best of friends, most of the time. They are independent and laugh at the same things. They can share clothes and they love each other fiercely.
I am certain that families with siblings further apart also have many reasons for their timing. What ever timing you choose (or attempt to choose) will be right for you. Years or months between children has no bearing on the love between siblings.